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do sprawdzenia

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1

SCP-2128, after brick coverings were removed

Identyfikator podmiotu: SCP-2128

Klasa podmiotu: Bezpieczne

Specjalne Czynności Przechowawcze: Site-403 has been constructed around and inside the building that houses SCP-2128.

At least three D-class personnel¹ are to be present daily onsite for Experimental Protocol 37-Sparafucile, which is to be carried out as needed. The list of statements to be used in EP 37-Sparafucile will be provided by the O5 Council and may be amended during experimentation at the Site Director's discretion.

EP 37-Sparafucile

1. One D-class employee, referred to as the "messenger," will be laid inside SCP-2128.

2. The messenger will repeat statements as instructed from the prepared list.

3. After each statement, if the messenger remains unharmed, the statement is to be marked as "true."

4. As soon as the messenger is incinerated, a new messenger is to be provided. The statement that triggered the incineration is to be marked as "false."

5. A new messenger will be assigned. Repeat as needed.

Description: SCP-2128 is a vaulted stone furnace in the ruins of a castle, 23km from ████████. The two openings are 1m high, and the length is 3m. Documentation discovered onsite (a sheepskin scroll known as the "Ignis Manuscript") revealed that SCP-2128 was created by agents of the Brazen Heart² in the late ninth century CE as a torture³ and execution device, named "The Liars' Cradle."

When a human subject fully enters SCP-2128 and makes a true statement, nothing will happen. If the spoken statement should be a lie, the human subject will be completely incinerated by unknown means.

Upon discovery, SCP-2128's two openings were covered in brick and mortar. The Ignis manuscript indicates that SCP-2128 was walled up in 1021 CE and its use was discontinued. This was due to a flaw in the method of lie detection: SCP-2128 considers all factually untrue statements to be lies, regardless of the subject's intention or prior knowledge.

SCP-2128 has displayed knowledge on a true/false basis of highly classified and previously unknown information. While the true scope of SCP-2128's knowledge (and reliability thereof) is unknown, proactive usage of EP 37-Sparafucile has prevented XK-class end-of-the-world scenarios on four separate occasions.

EXPERIMENT LOG

EP 37-Sparafucile-22 "Keter Checkup" log 10/1/14

[Messenger: D-6238]

The human race is in danger of extinction right now. - PRAWDA
The danger comes from an item in Foundation custody. - PRAWDA
The dangerous item in question is located at a site in North America. - FAŁSZ

[D-6238 incinerated. New messenger: D-6239.]

The dangerous item in question is located at a site in Europe. - FAŁSZ

[D-6239 incinerated. New messenger: D-6240.]

[Redacted for brevity]

[Messenger: D-6253]

SCP-████ will breach containment within the next month. - PRAWDA
SCP-████ will breach containment within the next week. - PRAWDA
SCP-████ will breach containment tomorrow. - FAŁSZ

[D-6253 incinerated. New messenger: D-6254.]

SCP-████ will breach containment today. - PRAWDA

[Scramble order given to MTF Nu-7. Site-██ secured. Containment breach averted. SK-class dominance shift averted.]

EP 37-Sparafucile-23 "Knowledge Measure" log 10/6/14

[Messenger: D-7784]

SCP-2128 knows everything. FAŁSZ

[D-7784 incinerated. New messenger: D-7785.]

The Liars' Cradle knows everything. PRAWDA
The Liars' Cradle will tell us everything. FAŁSZ

[D-7785 incinerated. New messenger: D-7786.]

The Liars' Cradle will tell me everything I need to know. PRAWDA
The Liars' Cradle will tell the Foundation everything they need to know. FAŁSZ

[D-7786 incinerated. D-class supply depleted; procedure concluded for the day.]

EP 37-Sparafucile-24 "Sunday School Song" log 10/3/14

[Messenger: D-7891]

Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. - [DATA EXPUNGED]

EP 37-Sparafucile-25 "Pinocchio Paradox" log 10/10/14

[Messenger: D-8232]

Telling the Liars' Cradle a paradox is dangerous to Foundation personnel. FAŁSZ

[D-8232 incinerated. New messenger: D-8233.]

The Liars' Cradle is going to kill me right now. FAŁSZ

[D-8233 partially incinerated at a lower temperature, resulting in permanent disfigurement. New messenger: D-8234.]

The Liars' Cradle is going to burn me right now. FAŁSZ

[Ten seconds pass without incineration. D-8234 withdrawn. D-8234 complains of a minor cut on his arm from a chunk of broken rock in SCP-2128. D-8234 succumbs to a rapid, previously undiscovered form of gangrene and dies within a minute. New messenger: D-8235.]

The Liars' Cradle is going to inflict physical harm upon me right now. FAŁSZ

[Ten seconds pass without incineration. D-8235 withdrawn. D-8235 begins to sob uncontrollably. D-8235 then screams "goodbye," steals a guard's handgun, and self-terminates. D-8235 did not have any prior history of mental health problems or suicidal tendencies.]

EP 37-Sparafucile-26 "Subjective Opinion" log 10/10/14

[Messenger: D-9224]

Golden retrievers are cute. FAŁSZ

[D-9224 incinerated. New messenger: D-9225]

Golden retrievers are ugly. FAŁSZ

[D-9225 incinerated. New messenger: D-9226.]

Golden retrievers are tasty. PRAWDA

[D-9226 breaks protocol to comment] Wait, what? That's fuckin' nasty. FAŁSZ

[D-9226 incinerated. New messenger: D-9227.]

I'm a good person.⁴ PRAWDA

[D-9227 breaks protocol to comment] Joke's on you, jackasses - apparently I'm Mother Teresa! FAŁSZ

[D-9227 incinerated. New messenger: D-9228.]

The Liars' Cradle is sometimes incorrect. FAŁSZ

[D-9228 incinerated. New messenger: D-9229.]

The Liars' Cradle speaks only infallible empirical truth. PRAWDA
The Liars' Cradle is hungry. PRAWDA
The Liars' Cradle's hunger can never be satiated, no matter how full it becomes. PRAWDA
The Liars' Cradle would like to incinerate me right now. PRAWDA
The Liars' Cradle is growing impatient. PRAWDA
The Liars' Cradle sees delicious, warm meat on its plate and would very much like to be fed. PRAWDA
The Liars' Cradle is angry that it is continually denied its meat. PRAWDA
People meat is delicious. PRAWDA
I am delicious. PRAWDA
My skin is warm. PRAWDA
The crackling of fire upon boiling drips of fat and rapidly cauterizing flesh gives the Liars' Cradle pleasure. PRAWDA

[D-9229 withdrawn. New messenger: D-9230.]

The Earth is round. FAŁSZ

[D-9230 is incinerated in a particularly slow, violent fashion. The Site Director believes this to have been caused in part by the fact that "earth" could be vaguely interpreted as "dirt," but mostly because SCP-2128 does not appreciate taunts.]

Footnotes

1. Due to the inevitable death caused by EP 37-Sparafucile, D-class at Site-403 must be already scheduled for termination, and EP 37-Sparafucile is to be considered a method of termination as well as an experiment.

2. Fringe Moloch-worshiping cult, eventually eradicated by the Spanish Inquisition.

3. As shown in illustrations in the Ignis Manuscript, the victim would be placed in SCP-2128 for days at a time, forced to constantly talk about their lives as hot irons were prodded at their feet at every pause. The threat that one false statement could result in immolation made for emotional torment as well as physical.

4. D-9227 was a death row inmate convicted of cannibalism.

5. Japanese slang for "party people".

1

Identyfikator podmiotu: SCP-4357-J

Klasa podmiotu: Euclid

Specjalne Czynności Przechowawcze: SCP-4357-J is currently contained within a cylindrical space defined by a circular pattern of esoteric glyphs written on the floor in red and white chalk, 2.4 m in diameter. This design is furthermore surrounded by a square cage measuring 5m x 5m x 4m, composed of cold-wrought iron and inscribed with glyphs similar to those written in the inner circle. The cage is surrounded by a hexagram composed of sea-salt and silver dust.

Any personnel directly interacting with SCP-4357-J must have the symbols of at least 3 different religions clearly visible on their person at all times, and must be devout in one of them. They should carry a spray bottle or mister filled with purified water that has been blessed by an ordained clergy-member of the individual's faith. If SCP-4357-J becomes uncooperative or hostile, personnel are authorized to spray it with the water in order to provoke compliance.

Opis: SCP-4357-J to humanoid o czerwonej skórze, mający 3 metry wysokości i ważący około 200 kilogramów. It has a barbed tail, two leathery wings emerging from its shoulderblades, and two curved, sharpened horns immediately above its eyes. Jest nagi, ale nie ma żadnych widocznych podstawowych lub drugorzędnych cech płciowych.SCP-4357-J stale emituje ciepło w zakresie 40-50 stopni Celsjusza, a nawet gdy jest rozgniewany dochodzi do 95 stopni.Wygląda na to, że nie wymaga jedzenia ani snu i znajduje się w stanie ciągłego pobudzenia. It frequently insults staff members' intelligence and skill, specifically citing their incompetence in containing it.

Interview Logs:

06/06/19██

Agent ████████: Please identify your purpose here.

SCP-4357-J: Pierdol się, stary! You don't know me, you don't know what I am, you don't know what I can do! Hell, you don't even know how to keep me here! I mean, what are you, amateurs? You don't even have any holy water with you! How the hell are you supposed to drive me back if I decide to attack you!

Agent ████████: I see. Please wait here. Someone will return shortly.

06/07/19██

Agent █████, a devout Catholic: Please remain at least 10 feet from me or I'll spray you.

SCP-4357-J: Dumbfuck. You think these wings are just for show? I could fly over and rip your throat out before you could pull that trigger. Shit, man, where's the goddamned summoning circle? Or the protective hexagram? You guys don't know jackshit. Hell, go get me some chalk and I'll show you myself!

Agent █████: That seems like a good idea.

Agent █████ leaves the containment chamber and returns 35 minutes later with a box of white chalk sticks. He hands the box to SCP-4357-J, who immediately proceeds to spend the next 15 minutes rapidly creating the pattern currently used for containment.

SCP-4357-J: And THAT is how you make a proper summoning circle. All the runes in place, everything nice and neat. NOW, if I step in it like this, it'll be hard for me to get out!

SCP-4357-J tries to step out of the circle and bumps against an unseen barrier.

SCP-4357-J: Oh, FUCK ME!

07/13/19██

SCP-4357-J had, unusually for it, spent 3 hours crouched at the center of the containment ring, occasionally reaching forward to tap the barrier with its claws. At 1734 hours, it suddenly leaped straight upwards, unfurling its wings as it rose. Upon reaching the ceiling 6 meters above, it dug its claws into the concrete and crawled along it, outside the perimeter of the containment ring.

SCP-4357-J: Hah! I thought those things only went up 15 feet or so. I'm free, suck-asses!

Agents ██████ and ███ run into the room, whereupon they use spray bottles to spritz SCP-4357-J with holy water until it returns to the interior of the original containment diagram.

SCP-4357-J: Shit! That hurts, motherfuckers! Doesn't matter much, though; I'll just jump out again. It's not like you can put up a cage that'll hold me, either. I can bust through anything other than wrought-iron that has the words of Solomon on it, and where the unholy fuck are you going to find THAT nowadays, huh?

07/14/19██

Foundation metalworkers install a wrought-iron cage under the supervision and blessing of Rabbi ███████

SCP-4357-J: Shit.

10/01/19██

Rabbi ███████: Are you any more agreeable today, demon?

SCP-4357-J: Hey, I'm doing fine, pork-breath. You cocksuckers are the ones with a problem. Blood and brimstone, you fuckers couldn't even build the cage right! I've been testing it and I could rattle it apart and get free before you dickheads could even get in here with that thrice-be-damned holy water!

Rabbi ███████: But what about the words of Solomon? They command you to stay.

SCP-4357-J: Oh, for fuck's sake, Rabbi Pigfucker. You of all people should know that the Seal of Solomon is a hexagram. No star to hold me and I can run wild as soon as you motherfuckers turn your backs!

Rabbi ███████: We have plenty of chalk, demon. I wager that I can draw a Seal before you could escape.

SCP-4357-J: Rabbi, Rabbi, Rabbi. I'm actually disappointed in your stupidity. You really think that chalk is good enough to hold a Seal? Why do you think all those back-wood fuckstains talk about using salt and silver to hold back the monsters in the dark? They're remembering us, and what drives us back.

Rabbi ███████: Thank you, demon. You've been… educational, as always.

SCP-4357-J: FUCK! No, wait, forget I said that! I was, uh, lying! Yeah! That's us demons, always lying our asses off! Can't trust a word we say!

12/19/19██

Agent ██, devout Buddhist: Hello, SCP-4357. I have a question for you today.

SCP-4357-J: Fuck off, asshole. I ain't saying nothing to you shitheads any more. You keep locking me down tighter.

Agent ██: This is actually a very simple question that has been bothering me for a while: why didn't you escape before we set up all this?

Agent ██ gestures at the then-current containment protocols. SCP-4357-J looks stricken, with its mouth hanging open, for approximately 30 seconds.

SCP-4357-J: I- I didn't- I thought tha- Oh, GOD DAMN IT!

SCP-4357-J proceeds to throw itself against the containment barriers more violently than usual for 90 hours, 17 minutes, yelling a constant stream of invective the entire time.

Note: Obecne protokoły bezpieczeństwa są wynikiem wielu wywiadów z SCP-4357-J. Dalsze korekty mogą być uzasadnione w zależności od przyszłych komentarzy.

tłumaczenie tekstu

1.

Identyfikator podmiotu: SCP-2719

Klasa podmiotu: Keter

Specjalne Czynności Przechowawcze: SCP-2719 powinien być trzymany w środku.

Description: SCP-2719 is a variable abstract-metaphysical construct pointer. Concepts acted upon by SCP-2719 will either go or become inside. Further information on SCP-2719 should not be provided to personnel who are both sapient and biological.

Experimental Data:

Pointer	Outcome
2008 Opel Astra	Był w środku.
D-5789	Wszedł do środka.
D-5794	Wszedł do środka.
D-5796	Został w środku.
D-5802	Wszedł do środka. Wewnątrz w trudnej sytuacji.
Containment Unit 2719-A	Wszedł do środka. Inside dies.
Containment Unit 2719-B	Wszedł do środka.
Containment Unit 2719-C	Został w środku.
D-5803	Wszedł do środka.
D-5805	Wszedł do środka.
D-5812	Wszedł do środka.
D-5813	Became inside.
Containment Unit 2719-B	Został w środku.
Uleåborg, Finland	Został w środku.
Population of Uleåborg	Went inside. Successful use as evacuation procedure.
Containment Unit 682-V	Został w środku.
SCP-682	Wszedł do środka.
SCP-682	Został w środku.
SCP-682	Wszedł do środka.
SCP-682	Wszedł do środka.
SCP-682	Wszedł do środka.
SCP-682	Outside.
O5	Became inside.
Dr. Zermelo	Wszedł do środka.
Punishment	Became inside.
O5-7	Wszedł do środka.
Dr. Bright	Became inside.
Intestinal Distress	Outside. (Nice try.)
Intestinal Distress	Became inside.
Dr. ████	Wszedł do środka. (Now don't do it again.)
Taree, Australia	Został w środku.
Population of Taree	Wszedł do środka.
Transcendence	Został w środku.
O5-1	Został w środku.
Transcendence	Został w środku.
O5-2	Został w środku.
Transcendence	Został w środku.
O5-3	Został w środku.
Transcendence	Został w środku.
O5-4	Wszedł do środka.
Transcendencja	Outside.
Transcendencja	Outside.
Transcendencja	Outside.

[[footnoteblock]]

3

WARNING

The following SCP file (SCP-O5-J) has been classified TOP SECRET by order of the O5 Council.

UNAUTHORISED PERSONNEL WILL BE TERMINATED UPON ATTEMPTING TO ACCESS FILE SCP-O5-J VIA MEMETIC KILL AGENT

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

EXTENDED LIFE SIGNS DETECTED
AUTHORISED PERSONNEL VERIFIED
ACCESSING TERMINAL LOG 8675309

There is one (1) SCP document awaiting approval on your server.

Do you wish to access Terminal Alpha-19-O5-J-B2-97-Omega-Delta-Beta-Safe-Euclid-Keter-Thaumiel-Explained-Neutralised-Apollyon-Embla-AndTheOtherOnes-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20-21-22-23-24-25-26-27-28-29-30-31-32-33-34-35-36-37-38-39-40-41-42-43-44-45-46-47-48-49-50-51-52-53-54-55?

yes

WARNING! SECONDARY SECURITY COUNTER MEASURES ACTIVATED! PLEASE STAND BY…

Memetic lock agent activating.

are you fucking kidding me

What [REDACTED] did you just say about me, you [REDACTED]? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the [REDACTED], and I’ve been involved in [DATA EXPUNGED], and I have over ███ confirmed [REDACTED]. I am trained in [REDACTED] and I’m the top [REDACTED] in the entire [REDACTED]. You are nothing to me but just another [REDACTED]. I will [DATA EXPUNGED], mark my [REDACTED]. You think you can get away with saying that REDACTED] to me over the [REDACTED]? Think again, [REDACTED]. As we speak I am [DATA EXPUNGED] and [DATA EXPUNGED] so you better prepare for the storm, [REDACTED]. The [REDACTED] that wipes out the [REDACTED] little thing you call [REDACTED]. You’re [REDACTED], kid. I can be [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and I can [REDACTED] you in over [REDACTED] ways, and that’s just with my [REDACTED]. Not only am I extensively trained in [REDACTED] combat, but I have access to the entire [DATA EXPUNGED] and I will use it to its full extent to wipe [REDACTED] off the face of the continent, you [REDACTED]. If only you could have known what [REDACTED] your little “clever” [REDACTED] was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have [DATA EXPUNGED]. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re [REDACTED], you [REDACTED]. I will [REDACTED] all over you and you will [REDACTED] in it. You’re [DATA EXPUNGED], kiddo.

Extended life signs detected.

access Terminal Alpha-19-O5-J-B2-97-Omega-Delta-Beta-Safe-Euclid-Keter-Thaumiel-Explained-Neutralised-Apollyon-Embla-AndTheOtherOnes-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20-21-22-23-24-25-26-27-28-29-30-31-32-33-34-35-36-37-38-39-40-41-42-43-44-45-46-47-48-49-50-51-52-53-54-55

Please enter your password.

O5-3HasAMassivePenis

Password accepted.

Please enter your custom keyphrase.

No.

Custom keyphrase accepted. Welcome, O5-6.

Please click on this command to visit the verification page.

jason i'm going to fuck you up the next time we meet i know that's a berryman-langford sleep meme from the link and i'm not inoculated against it. we don't even have proper verification pages. would it kill you to use the link shortener? oh wait it would, since you'd have to sift through the database with all the other memes, you arrogant fountain-hogging lizard-baiting 231 fetishist

Sorry, I do not understand the command.

override

Enter override code.

O5-3IsTheKingOfSexAndHasItOnWithO5-6'sMumEveryWeekend

Override accepted.

help

What would you like help with? Enter your query below.

how do you change an override code

Please contact O5-3 to change any of your passwords or secure phrases.

fuck you jason

Confirmed. Initiating call to Mobile Task Force M69 to engage in sexual intercourse with O5-3.

NONONO STOP STOP STOP CANCEL

Confirmed.

access SCP-O5-J

Downloading SCP-O5-J to your secure drive…

SCP-O5-J (proposal)

Item #: SCP-O5-J

Object Class: Keter

Security Level: O5

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-O5-J must be visited by O5-6 and several other senior staff members every Saturday to ensure their "needs" are met and that they are contained effectively. SCP-O5-J will be held at their house, with permission to leave and interact with others as they please. SCP-O5-J is Keter because they may seek out and entrap other humans - this is permitted and O5-6 is to watch this process every time it occurs.

Description: SCP-O5-J is O5-6's mum.

deny

Are you sure you want to deny?

YES

Would you like to leave a message to the article author?

Jason this isn't funny, I'm sorry I sent that text to your sister but this has to stop. Please stop clogging up my approval queue with these fake entries and please stop implying that you had sex with my mother. You didn't. I know you didn't. I hope you didn't.

Confirmed.

god damn it

Sorry, I do not understand the command.

Międzynarodowy

Chciałbym wam przedstawić nowe tłumaczenie które będę tłumaczył i to jeszcze międzynarodowe a nie z "głównej" strony fundacji.

Pytanie "Dlaczego?"
Odpowiedz "Bo nikt nie tłumaczy międzynarodowych raportów/opowieści"

Lista

- http://scp-int.wikidot.com/the-plan-failed
- http://scp-int.wikidot.com/ein-baum-ein-juwel-eine-familie-hub
- http://scp-int.wikidot.com/scp-055-de-j
- http://scp-int.wikidot.com/magierakademie-hub
- http://scp-int.wikidot.com/department-xxv-hub
- http://scp-int.wikidot.com/vso-hub

Lista życzeń

Będę tu wystawiał linki do rzeczy które chciałbym żeby były przetłumaczone na język polski
-http://www.scp-wiki.net/mr-doggo
-http://www.scp-wiki.net/the-man-who-wasnt-there-hub (tu bardziej chodzi o kanon)
-http://www.scp-wiki.net/unfounded-hub
-http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-3000
-http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-3008

lista tłumaczeń

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-3900

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-003-j

http://www.scp-wiki.net/concerto-in-d-major

http://www.scp-wiki.net/nobody-hub

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-80s-j

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-029-j

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-437

http://www.scp-wiki.net/gamers-against-weed-hub

http://www.scp-wiki.net/flow-hub

http://www.scp-wiki.net/flow

tłumaczenie nr.1

jockjamsvol6: Hej. Masz sekunke?
jockjamsvol6: There's thing me and some other people do in another channel. 'Gamers Against Weed'.
jockjamsvol6: (Nazwa jest ironiczna.)
jockjamsvol6: W każdym razie, jeśli jesteś zainteresowany, mogę Cię zaprosić.
jockjamsvol6: ... wait, what am I thinking? I should probably tell you what it *is* first.

[[tabview]] USU
[[tab What is Gamers Against Weed?]] USU

jockjamsvol6: Tylko jakiś zwykły człowiek, który miło spędza czas z przyjaciółmi.

polaricecraps: gej

SCP_Foundation: Luźno zorganizowana sieć anomalii, która produkuje anomalie dla własnej rozrywki i/lub celów satyrycznych. Grupa organizuje się niemal wyłącznie przez Internet i ma około 40 członków.
SCP_Foundation: Gamers Against Weed powstało jako odłam Are We Cool Yet? w 2013 r., chociaż wydaje się, że w dużej mierze porzucił tworzenie anomalii. While several GAW-produced anomalies pose serious threats to secrecy, the threat to human life has been minimal.
Grupa składa się głównie z wywłaszczonych lub w inny sposób zmarginalizowanych osób w wieku 15-30 lat na półkuli zachodniej, posiadających różne anomalne właściwości. Grupa jest świadoma działalności Fundacji, ale nie ma możliwości jej zlokalizowania lub bezpośredniego skierowania do Fundacji.

talman_corvett: robimy magiczne dowcipy i figle i gówna

hetcopogg: Formed in 1969, Gamers Against Weed is on the front lines of the eternal war between the gamers and the stoners. With over 9,000 troops, we have participated in numerous raids on Al-Ganja and graduated top of our class in the Nintendo Seals of Quality.

kkrule: Pretty cool guys, htey fight boredom and only afraid of a few things

arewecoolyet: whom?

TrainerDP: A bunch of trolls, basically. except with superpowers.

GlobalOccultCoalition: A collective dedicated to the production of humorous and occasionally subversive material. No means of directly contacting Gamers Against Weed have been identified, and it is unclear whether they are unaware of the GOC or are simply uninterested. Their behavior has thus far been difficult to predict.

gaycopmp4: memeloving fucks

serpents-hand: A group of merrymakers, immersed in anomalous internet subcultures. We wish them well, but they will have to fight their own battles.

bluntfiend: It's something to bring a little light into the world, without anyone getting hurt.

MCD: Unlikely to become aware of or have any noticeable impact on Marshall, Carter, and Dark's activities. In the event that they become problematic, arrange to acquire key members or hire them as consultants.

harmpit: thew orld s largest pewidepie fanclub

W0nd3rt41nm3nt: "Little Misters" is the intellectual property of Dr. Wondertainment.

lesbian_gengar: nice try, officer.

[[/tab]] USU
[[tab Collected Works]] USU

Projects:

Japanese Branch:

• SCP-1971-JP (by EFU)

Misters Against Weed:
01. Mr. Literal Serial Killer - SCP-2586
02. Mr. Normie - Mr. Normie
03. Mr. Bernie Sanders - SCP-3015
04. Mr. Get Anything For Free In Any Shop - UIU File: 2016-004
20. Mr. Sex Number - SCP-3697
21. Mr. Heavenly Virtues
22. Mr. Deadly Sins - SCP-3024
23. Mr. Original Character - Dr Weppler's Personnel File
24. Mr. D.A.R.E.
25. Mr. Gentrification
26. Ms. Mad About Video Games - SCP-3090
27. Mr. Meme - SCP-2842
28. Mr. Ominous (discontinued) - SCP-3012
29. Mr. Destiny
30. Mr. Monty Python And The Holy Grail - SCP-2476
31. Ms. Zapatista
32. Mr. Hax - SCP-285
33. Mr. Just Has The Tattoo - Log of Anomalous Items
34. Mr. Top Text and Mr. Bottom Text - SCP-2562
35. Mr. Finale

Japanese Branch:

• 24. Mr. Sweet Devil Girl - SCP-1982-JP (by EFU)
• 27. Mr. Uncensored - SCP-1014-JP (by EFU)
• 31. Ms. Paripi⁵ - SCP-733-JP (by me_te_de_ko does not match any existing user name)
• 34. Mr. Proof - SCP-1504-JP (by me_te_de_ko does not match any existing user name)

Stories:
Different Kinds of Nihilism
What Passes as Normal in the Digital Age
Gamers Against Weed Dossier
Sometimes It's Not Funny

Japanese Branch:

• Tattoo (by EFU)
• 835love (by EFU)
• Gaffias is in IKEA (by EFU)
• No Sense for Names and Naming Things (by EFU)
• He Killed His Child (by crow_109)

Jude's Bizarre Adventure
Phantom Blunt
Bong Rip Tendency
Kiefdust Crusaders

Cool and Awesome Ways to Say No to Weed
The Assassination of Beleaguered Normalcy by the Coward Gamers Against Weed
Shocking Ignorance Regarding Anything Resembling a Structured Set of Rules to be Applied Fairly

[[footnoteblock]]
[[/tab]] USU
[[tab Writing Guide]] USU
While nobody gets to dictate how Gamers Against Weed functions, there are several themes and qualities that you should consider if you want your GAW article to mesh with other articles.

Shits and Giggles: This is what Gamers Against Weed is for. Sometimes they're political, sometimes they're serious, and sometimes they make a point, but they are fundamentally in this for a laugh. Whatever they do, they do it with a sense of humor. Articles that feature GAW don't have to be funny in their own right, but you might want to make it apparent that they, at least, are getting a laugh out of it.

Extremely Online: While they usually have lives outside of the group and off the internet, members of Gamers Against Weed tend to be immersed in the web, and are digitally fluent to a fault. Don't be afraid to incorporate memes, trolling, and popular culture into the articles. Nothing is too obscure.

Contemporary: Gamers Against Weed articles should reflect events happening in the modern day — if the story you want to tell could take place before the year 2006 without losing meaning, GAW is probably not what you're looking for. A GAW story should never feel disconnected from the world around it.

Benign: Gamers Against Weed are a pacifist group. If they have reason to believe that one of their projects could get people hurt or killed, they won't do it. They generally do not tolerate bigotry, bullying, or other forms of douchebaggery. That being said, they LOVE trolling, and if someone gets mad about something trivial, that's their problem.

Don't Want Trouble: To anybody who isn't tasking themselves with keeping the anomalous secret, or who hasn't taken personal offense to something they did, Gamers Against Weed is probably not relevant. While they are certainly irreverent, they are also cautious, and will only make a joke if they think they can handle the blowback.

No Signature: Gamers Against Weed has no need to be recognized by anyone else, and while they might sign their individual names to something, rarely will they outright label anything with 'Gamers Against Weed'. Their Little Misters are an exception to this.

Notes on the Misters: When you're writing up one of the Misters Against Weed, it should be able to function as some form of satire (especially of Wondertainment's Little Misters), and should function as something a child would reasonably find useful. Some have also taken the new misters as an invitation to use GOI formats, so if that's your style, go right ahead.
[[/tab]] USU
[[/tabview]] USU

tłumaczenie nr.2

tłumaczenie nr.3

tłumaczenie nr.4

SCP-055-DE-J. NIESAMOWITY!.

Item #: SCP-055-DE-J

Classification: ODLLOOOOOOOOTOOOOOOWYYY

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-055-DE-J MUSI BYĆ DOSTĘPNY DLA KAŻDEGO W STOŁÓWCE W OŚRODKU-DE19! TO MA TAKI ŚWIETNY SMAK KIEDY SIĘ GO SPRÓBUJE! Z POWODU NIEWIELKICH STRAT MATERIALNYCH ORAZ LICZNYCH SKARG OD PAŃSTWA NIKT NIE MOŻE ROZMAWIAĆ NA TEEEMAAAAT SCP-055-DE-J. THE ENTIRETY OF SCP-055-DE-J IS ALSO NEVER TO BE USED COMPLETELY AT OOOOOOONCE!!

Opis: SCP-055-DE-J JEST NAJSMACZNIEJSZĄ SZYNKĄ NA CAŁYM ŚWIECIE! PÓŁ METRA DŁUGOŚCI , ĆWIERĆ SZEROKOŚCI I DZIESIĘCIOCENTYMETROWA GRUBOŚĆ, KTÓRA MA 12,500 CENTYMETRÓW SZEŚCIENNYCH CZYSTA DOSKONAŁOŚĆ Z MASĄ 5 KILOGRAAAAAAMÓW!


TO ARCYDZIEŁO RZEŹNI MOŻE BYĆ JEDZONY PRZEZ LUDZI BEZ PROBLEMÓW, PRZYNAJMNIEJ TAK MI POWIEDZIELI MANIACY TOKSYKOLOGI! IT DOESN'T ROT EITHER AND YOU CAN STUFF AS MUCH IN YOUR MOUTH AS YOU WANT, THE AWESOME STUFF JUST GROWS RIGHT BACK! OŁŁ JEEE!


OTHER FOUNDATION ARTICLES ARE TRYING TO HOAX YOU WITH DRY NERD-SPEECH? SCP-055-DE-J CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED IN ONE WAY, THE RIGHT ONE! EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO REPORT SCP-055-DE-J'S AWESOMENESS DOES THAT AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE, AS BADASS AS POSSIBLE, AND WITH A VOICE THAT SOUNDS AS MANLY AS POSSIBLE. YES, EVEN WOMEN! EVEN PRINTED MATTER ISN'T SAVE. THE SAME SICK ASS CHOICE OF WORDS AND EVERYTHING IS IN CAPTIAL LETTEEEEEEERS! AND WITH EXCLAMATION MAAAAAAARKS!

THE SUPERSECRET MEETING IN THIS CONTAINER WAS SUPER LAME UNTIL SOMEONE STARTED TALKING ABOUT SCP-055-DE-J! THEN IT BECAME SUPER BOMBASTIIIIIIIIIIIC!

IF ONE DESCRIBES THE GLORY OF SCP-055-DE-J, RAD EXPLOSIONS OCCUR SPONTANEOUSLY NEAR THE PERSON DESCRIBING IT! JUST LIKE THAT! NOBODY EVEN KNOWS HOW IT HAPPENS BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY! SCP-055-DE-J EXPLOSIONS ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK!

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Umm, momencik, proszę…

…

…

…

…

sekundę…

…

…

…

…

THERE WE GO!

NO IDEA WHAT ANIMAL SCP-055-DE-J IS MADE OFF, THOSE EGGHEADS AT THE GENETIC RESEARCH DEPARTMENT HAVE NO CLUE! BUT EVERYONE IN THE FOUNDATION CAN AGREE THAT WHATEVER ANIMAL THAT WAS, IT HAD TO BE PRETTY BADASS IF IT TASTES THAT NEAT! THE REAL HARD BOYS AND GIRLS EAT SCP-055-DE-J RAW, BUT THE PUSSIES CAN EAT IT HOWEVER THEY WANT! TASTS GREAT ALSO, BUT NOT INCREDIBLE! THE ONLY EXCEPTION ARE VEGTABLES, YOU LAY 'EM ON ONE PLATE OR SANDWICH WITH SCP-055-DE-J AND YOU GET AN EXPLOSION RIGHT IN YOUR DAMN FACE! WE BELIEVE THAT'S BECAUSE SCP-055-DE-J TASTES SIMPLY LIKE SHIT WHEN TOGETHER WITH VEGTABLEEEEEEEES!

Addenum 055-J-1: KILKA OSÓB ZOSTAŁA ZAPROSZONA DO SPRÓBOWANIA SCP-055-DE-J. OTO ICH REAKCJE:

TO. JEST. PRZEPYSZNE! - Agent Straub

TO COŚ JEST WSPANIAŁE, MYŚLE ŻE DZĘKI TEMU ROSNĄ DODATKOWE WŁOSY NA KLAAAAACIE! - Dr Joch

ODDAWAĆ CZEŚĆ SZYNCE - Agent von Dorff

Myśle że ta szynka jest okej. - Dr. See

DR. SEE IS CURRENTLY BEING TESTED ON ANY ANOMALIES, AS HE DIDN'T WORSHIP SCP-055-DE-J ENOUUUUUGH!

Addenum 055-J-2: SCP-055-DE-J ISN'T ALLOWED TO BE EATEN AS A WHOLE AT THE MOMENT BECAUSE THEN IT WOULDN'T REGENERATE PROOOOPERLYYYYYYY! WE ALSO BELIEVE THAT WHEN SCP-055-DE-J IS DESTROYED AN EPICNESS-VACUUM IS CREATED WHICH WOULD DESTORY THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE! WOOOOOOUUUUUHH!

Addenum 055-J-3: WE ALSO WANTED TO TEST SCP-055-DE-J'S GREATNESS ON OTHER SCPS, SO HERE WE GO:

USED SCP	WHAT HAPPENEEEEED!
SCP-020-DE	AFTER SCP-020-DE DEVOURED SCP-055-DE-J IT WRAPPED ITSELF IN MIST! WHEN THE MIST DISAPEARED THE THING HAD A MANLY LOOKIN' CHIN AND ALWAYS SAID "I'LL BE BACK!" BEFORE FILLING ITSELF AGAIN!
SCP-038-DE	THE TESTSUBJECT WAS GIVEN 20 MILLILITERS OF SCP-038-DE AND WAS TOLD TO EAT SCP-055-DE-J TILL HE HAD ENOUGH. BUT BITCH PLEASE, WHO EVER HAS ENOUGH OF SCP-055-DE-J?
SCP-058-DE	SCP-055-DE-J WAS GIVEN TO 15 ZOMBIES! THEY IMMEDIATLY STOOD UP AND STARTED DANCING THRILLER BY MICHAEL JACKSON! NO CLUE WHERE THE MUSIC CAME FROM!
SCP-067-DE	IT WAS GIVEN TO SCP-067-DE-A-121! NOW IT SHOOTS SOMETHING BETTER THAN LASERS OUT OF IT'S EYES, AND THAT'S MOTORCYCLES!
SCP-077-DE	STARTED PUKING A RAINBOW AFTER EATING IT!
SCP-092-DE	AFTER DEVOURING IT, SCP-092-DE STARTED GROWLING LIKE MAD AND GREW AN ULTRACOOL FULL BEARD WTHIN A FEW SECONDS, SEEMINGLY BY SHEER WILL POWER. THE BEARD CANNOT BE SHAVED OFF BY A NORMAL PUNY SHAVERS AND HAS TO BE SHAVED BY EITHER SCP-092-DE-01 OR SCP-092-DE-02!
SCP-097-DE	AFTER SCP-097-DE-02 MUNCHED SCP-055-DE-J IT THREW UP AN E-GUITAR AND A SPEAKER AND STARTED PLAYING AN REALLY EPIC METAL RIFF! EVERYONE THAT WAS PRESENT, SCP-097-DE-02 INCLUDED, GOT NECK MUSCLE TEARS AND CONCUSSIONS BECAUSE OF TO INTENSE HEADBANGING!

CZY TE TESTY BYŁY POTRZEBNE?

NNNNNIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

ALE BYŁY

ABSOLUTNIE EPICKIE!

tłumaczenie na ang

Dom D-327 po podpisaniu SCP-PL-025

Identyfikator podmiotu: SCP-PL-025

Klasa podmiotu: Bezpieczne

Specjalne Czynności Przechowawcze: Obiekt jest przechowywany w gabinecie Administratora O5-██; może on udzielić pozwolenia na przeprowadzenie eksperymentów z udziałem podmiotu pracownikom posiadającym poziom upoważnienia 3 lub wyższy. Osoby nieupoważnione próbujące uzyskać dostęp do SCP-PL-025 bez wcześniejszego porozumienia z Administratorem narażają się na konsekwencje w postaci reprymendy i/lub wydalenia z Fundacji. Mając na uwadze destrukcyjne obiektywnie nieprzyjemne działanie obiektu, jest on przechowywany w prostopadłościennej gablocie wykonanej ze szkła pancernego i stale monitorowany przez jedną (1) kamerę (obecność kamery nie przeszkadza Administratorowi O5-██).

Opis: SCP-PL-025 to czek o wymiarach 15 [cm] × 10 [cm] wykonany z papieru o składzie: 60% ██████, 25% ███ oraz 15% ███████. Podmiot nie posiada żadnych specjalnych nadruków ani nazwy banku, który go wystawił. Na jego powierzchni widnieją tylko dwa pola (w tym jedno wypełnione):

• KWOTA: SZCZĘŚCIE
• PODPIS: [tu wpisać należy imię i nazwisko]

Po podpisaniu czeku, nazwisko podpisującego znika (wsiąka w obiekt, nie pozostawiając żadnych śladów atramentu/grafitu/innej substancji). W ciągu kolejnych kilku godzin podpisujący w wyniku niefortunnych zbiegów okoliczności traci cały dorobek swojego życia. Do najczęściej obserwowanych wówczas zdarzeń należą: pożar/huragan/powódź/lokalne trzęsienie ziemi/masowa kradzież/atak szaleńca (bez względu na rozmiar wypadku, większych szkód nigdy nie ponoszą osoby postronne).
Ponadto wszelkie fundusze znajdujące się na koncie bankowym podpisującego zostają przekazane przez podmiot na rzecz wybranych fundacji charytatywnych (podpisuje się jako "Fundacja Szczęścia"). Pasma niepowodzeń spotykają podpisującego również w chwili, gdy próbuje ponownie gromadzić wokół siebie dobra materialne bądź wrócić do konsumpcyjnego stylu życia.

Nie udało się ustalić, czy SCP-PL-025 posiadł zdolność myślenia (jednak prawdopodobieństwo jest dość niskie — dr ██████). Mimo to niezależnie od wpisanego na czeku imienia i nazwiska, nieszczęścia zawsze dotykają osoby, która podpis złożyła.

Uwagi do działania SCP-PL-025
Dr ████: Mimo panowania powszechnego przekonania, jakoby nastawienie obiektu względem ludzi było wrogie, w wyniku przeprowadzonych eksperymentów udało się ustalić, iż efekty jego działania nie dotykają osób ubogich, żyjących w skrajnej nędzy i/lub tych, które już w przeszłości przeżywały tragedie życiowe, traumy bądź olbrzymie niepowodzenia. W takich przypadkach nie zaobserwowano też jednak działania odwrotnego (tj. zapewniania personelowi eksperymentalnemu bogactwa czy życia w szczęściu). Niemniej tego typu zachowanie podmiotu pozwala prowadzić do wniosku, iż nie został on przebadany przez pracowników Fundacji dostatecznie rzetelnie. Dlatego wnoszę o zmianę jego klasyfikacji na Euclid

[[footnoteblock]]

Pomoc dla tłumacza

Cichy Las
Atrybucja
> [*http://ja.scp-wiki.net/silent-forest-ikuragunkan Oryginał] autorstwa [[*user ikuragunkan]]

tłumaczenia niedokończony

1.

It was said that in ancient times, as it is today, that there were a great many expunged that walked the world - not all creatures of flesh and blood, but machines, objects, places, even words and ideas, that knew not the laws of man nor God and caused great ruination and confusion wherever they roamed. To protect all men, believer and heathen alike, the Ancient Temple was founded, to secure, contain, and protect those terrors that threatened the safety of all.

But this, the saints say, was the sin of the Ancients; not that they did not fear what might come to pass if they were careless, but that they feared it too much. For they kept the secrets of the expunged to themselves, saying to themselves 'Man is a timid and superstitious animal; if he knows that these things exist, he will be consumed by terror and chaos will reign around the world. Let us do our work in secret, then, and let none learn of these things, that they may live unafraid.'

But no secret can be kept forever; and in time, many others learned that the expunged existed, and rather than being fearful, they became covetous of the Ancient Temple, and created their own heathen temples, seeking to make and take such things for themselves. And from this conflict arose the Great Breach; and when the masses of the expunged found themselves loosed at once upon the world, a world which knew not that such things could exist and stood against them like a leaf stands against the hurricane, then no stone was left atop another.

And when the flames had passed, those priests of the Ancient Temple who yet lived saw a world that would never again be as it had been before. And they said to themselves, 'What shall we do now? Mankind has no chance to regain what he has lost if the knowledge of how to combat the expunged dies with us. How can we few ever undo such a great calamity?'

And they saw the Lord Bright approach them; and a great commotion arose through the crowd, for they thought Him dead. And the Lord spoke with a great voice, and He said; 'Shut the fuck up for ten seconds and I'll tell you.'

-Everett 1:1-9

Doctors of the Church Tales:

• A Canticle For Bright
• By One Iota
• Quid Est Non Scitum
• Though I Walk Through The Valley
• Placere Non Trinus
• Deus Vult
• Indwelling of Bright
• The Lord Judge

• Świątynia Dla Brighta
• Co Do Joty
• Co Wschód Nie Uwagi
• Przechodzenie Przez Dolinę
• Nie Przyjemność Z Podroży
• Deus Vult
• Mieszkanie Brighta
• Pan Sędzia

2.

She looked at herself in the mirror and inspected her uniform for the day. Gray cloche hat, unadorned; gray dress suit, well-tailored; white shirt, pressed and starched; black scarf, tight as a garotte. She loosened the knot slightly and idly thought, "It's always black. Nigdy nie jest zielony, ani niebieskie ani czerwony. Hmm."

She paused, concentrated briefly and the scarf turned royal purple with gold thread subtly hinting at strange and hidden patterns. "To lepiej. Do pracy odejdę."

Ostatnim razem wyprostowała spódnicę, smirked, and sketched a curtsy to the empty room. Nikt wszedł przez drzwi, and nobody was left behind.

---

Jestem nikim! Kim jesteś ty?
Też jesteś nikim?
A więc jest nas dwoje.
Nie wygadaj się… wygnaliby nas, wiesz.

— I'm Nobody! Who are you? autorstwa Emily Dickinson, 1891 r.

3.

-» You joined channel #booksudontread
-» Topic is: Welcome to #booksudontread - RULES: Nie bądź dupkiem. Don't out your fellows. If you're here, it's because you've been invited. If you get kicked, it's because the ops think you've been doing something that could endanger yourself or others. Don't come back without their approval.
-» Topic set by MisterKitty on 1/23/2013 12:33:27 PM
* ChanServ sets mode +v no1uno for #booksudontread
<@MisterKitty> So he says, 'First assume a spherical Chicken!'
<Vet> Hahahaahhahahahahaha
<vodkanono> lol
<crankshaft> hehehe
<~3rdSister> Oh lordy Mid, that's an old one.
<@MisterKitty> Still good.
<no1uno> Sounds like a good time being had.
* Jagerman rolls some dice, and opens up a door.
<no1uno> Miło, że wszyscy mogą się śmiać w takim czasie. Kiedy sprawy są tak szorstkie.
<romeoohromeo> whaddya mean no1?
<@MisterKitty> I haven't seen you around before, no1uno. When did you join?
<Vet> Ha, new blood! Let's ask him the questions!
<@MisterKitty> Oh lord, do we have to go through with this?
<vodkanono> Why not? There are traditions that keep us strong. We shall continue.
<no1uno> If this is how things are done, then let them continue as such.
<@MisterKitty> Fine, go ahead, ask the damn questions already.
<romeoohromeo> al right, question one: how'd ya find us?
<no1uno> Oh, I have my ways.
<crayweed> Oh no! That's a cop out! Come on, we've all done the questions, you gotta answer.
<no1uno> Well, to be prefectly honest, I just typed in 'Serpent Hands Secret Chat room' and this is what popped up.
<romeoohromeo> …
<crayweed> …
<Vet> …
<romeoohromeo> i don't believe you
<no1uno> To be fair, I'm not actually using a regular computer. I had this one special built to do most of the work of tracking you people down. You're almost as hard to find as I am. But now I have you.
<destructiveMouse> …
<crankshaft> …
<~3rdSister> … Okay, let's get this joker out of here.
-» You were kicked from #booksudontread by 3rdSister (Bork@borkdeborkbork) Reason (Nie byłeś zaproszony.)
<no1uno> and Yet, I am still here.
<romeoohromeo> is… is that supposed to be possible? c, i thought you had this on lock down.
<~3rdSister> To nie powinno być możliwe. But hanging aroudn you guys I know possible is a big field. You kids talk to him, I'm gonna… work my magic.
<no1uno> I believe there was a second question?
<crayweed> Okay, right, I got this. What are you lookign for here?
<no1uno> Succor. Release. I seek the one who will free me from my torment, and let me once more pass on to the next. I seek the knowledge of the past, and the wisdom of the future.
<vodkanono> …
<@MisterKitty> …
<romeoohromeo> … the fuck, man?
<~3rdSister> Got you now! Suck it asshole.
* 3rdSister sets mode +b *!*@no1uno for#booksudontread
<~3rdSister> Wait, what? That wasn't a name ban… Fuck it.
-» You were kicked from #booksudontread by 3rdSister (Bork@borkdeborkbork) Reason (Eat it creep.)
* 3rdSister wipes her hands of it. "Asshole dealt with."
<vodkanono> *Applauds* Well played, oh web mistress of awesome.
<no1uno> I believe such applauds would be out of line, as I am still here.
<~3rdSister> MOTHER FUCKER! Give me a moment.
* 3rdSister (Bork@borkdeborkbork) has left #bookudontread ()
<Vet> All right asshole, as long as we've got you here, let's finish this. Last question. What's your power?"
<@MisterKitty> Don't feed the noobs guys.
<crayweed> Well, you gonna answer or what
<no1uno> Ah, now you come to the crux of this operation, the nub, the epitome of what I wish to speak on.You see, I am unknown, I am unseen, I am not. Those who are aware do not believe, and I, I sit in the cracks, and watch the world turn. And I am here with an offer.
<@MisterKitty> What do you offer us?
<no1uno> You? Absolutely nothing. You have the power you seek.
<romeoohromeo> aw yeah, romeo is coming into power now give it to me bitches
<no1uno> Let us say no.
<crayweed> Then why ARE you here?
* vodkanono checks his watch.
<vodkanono> Why must the evil villains go on and on and on and on..
<no1uno> I resist the label of evil.
<crankshaft> So you're a good guy?
<romeoohromeo> he reisists the label of good
<no1uno> I resist the label of… yes.
<crayweed> So your nothing.
<no1uno> I am me, is that not enough?
* 3rdSister (Bork@borkdeborkbork) has joined #booksudontread
<no1uno> And my target returns.
<~3rdSister> Right, you want me? Fine. Let's do this.
<@MisterKitty> C, are you sure you want to do this?
* 3rdSister sets mode +i for #booksudontread
* romeoohromeo was kicked by 3rdSister (bork@borkdeborkbork) Reason (Personal Safety. Get the Docents.)
* crayweed was kicked by 3rdSister (bork@borkdeborkbork) Reason (Personal Safety. Get the Docents.)
* crankshaft was kicked by 3rdSister (bork@borkdeborkbork) Reason (Personal Safety. Get the Docents.)
* Jagerman was kicked by 3rdSister (bork@borkdeborkbork) Reason (Personal Safety. Get the Docents.)
<@Misterkitty> Claire, no, let me stick around and help you!
* Misterkitty was kicked by 3rdSister (bork@borkdeborkbork) Reason (Love you too. I'll deal with it.)
* vodkanono was kicked by 3rdSister (bork@borkdeborkbork) Reason (Personal Safety.)
* Vet was kicked by 3rdSister (bork@borkdeborkbork) Reason (Personal Safety.)
* destructiveMouse was kicked by 3rdSister (bork@borkdeborkbork) Reason (Personal Safety.)
* OldMan was kicked by 3rdSister (bork@borkdeborkbork) Reason (When the hell did you get here?)
<~3rdSister> And now it is down to me, and it is down to you.
<no1uno> It has always been thus. You just resisted it. There's still one person watching, you know.
<~3rdSister> I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. There's no one else in the room! How did you bypass my security? Why are you cracking my site? What the fuck do you want from me?
<no1uno> I want to make you an offer. I'm tired. I've been doing this for… for too long. It has taken a toll on my mind as well as my body.
<~3rdSister> What makes you think I want it?
<no1uno> Because you asked for it, Claire. Because you want to be the ultimate thorn in the side of the Jailers.
<~3rdSister> …
<~3rdSister> … Oh.
<~3rdSister> You.
<no1uno> Me.
<~3rdSister> What do you offer?
<no1uno> Everything. All my files, all my tools, everything you need to make them fail.
<~3rdSister> And what does it cost?
<no1uno> Everything. You will be unable to make yourself known, even to those who were your closest friends. You will be me. Will have always been me.
<~3rdSister> My…family?
<no1uno> Will never have had a third little sister.
<~3rdSister> Never again…
<no1uno> But you'd fulfill the family goal.
<~3rdSister> Jesteś dupkiem. Bardzo dobrze. Akceptuję.
<no1uno> Obróć się.
* chanserv sets mode -i for #booksudontread
* MisterKitty has joined #booksudontread
* chanserv sets mode +qo MisterKitty MisterKitty for #booksudontread
* romeoohromeo has joined #booksudontread
<~MisterKitty> Huh, to było dziwne.
<romeoohromeo> whut
<~MisterKitty> I was locked out of the room for a minute. Weird. oh well, looks like nothings wrong.

4.

5.

hi and weclom 2 The Minions© day at the scp, my name is Randomini and i wrot it. in this story, YOU r a minion!!! <i>hepl ur minion frends 2 get thru the day w/out dyin!!!</i> u get points if all ur minions live :D .</b> so to start please enter ur name <br> <br> <div align="center"> wat do???

Cześć i wytaj w Minionki dzień w scp a ja Nazywam się Randomini i napisałm to. tą historię ty jest minionkiem!!!

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